Pay attention to me.

Europe, Part 4.

2010-09-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

More Prague photos.

An old castle.

Inside the cathedral.

I kept asking "will he flinch if I fondle him?"

A private Absinthe tasting.

Drew, toasting the Absinthe.

This is not funny.

My Czech boyfriend.

Private session with the Prague Philharmonic.

Europe, Part 3.

2010-09-04T14:12:00.000-07:00

I'm not easily impressed, but Prague is gorgeous.

Me and an old ass building.

Old ass buildings, continued.

A special concert by the Prague Philharmonic Orchestra.

At the Prague Contemporary Art Musuem.

Lauren by the 'Unimpressive Clock.' That's not its real name, by the way.

I caught this perfect shot of a lightning storm.

Europe, Part 2.

2010-08-21T06:06:00.001-07:00

I took 4 years of French in High School. You'd think that I would remember at least a few words. People in Paris would be like 'bonjour!' and I would look at Zoe and be like 'what the hell are they saying?" Here are more pictures of things I cannot pronounce.

Lost, looking for the Catacombs.

At the Louvre.

I met this handsome man at the Louvre.

And also this lovely handicapped lady.

Apparently someone decided to build a triangular Apple store on top of the Louvre.

Arc de Triumph. I kept saying to Lauren 'crop it so that Asian lady isn't in the picture.' This is what I got.

Me and Zoe dining at Publicis.

Finally found the Catacombs. I think that translates to 'scary underground pit full of bones.'

Europe, Part 1.

2010-08-19T04:28:00.001-07:00

Finally back from the almost three week long Puffs shoot. Here are a few shots from Paris.

Zoe, Lauren and Jen at the Rue de Something.

Me and Lauren at La Fountaine de Place where we Manged alot de Fromage.

Zoe and I at the Seine (it's the only name I remember).

Notre Dame.

Back at the Seine at night.

Me at some French building or something.

It was a large building.

Fail.

2010-07-28T11:00:00.001-07:00

Saw this on my way to the office on Sunday.

Puffs.

2010-07-14T17:03:00.000-07:00

I give the Puffs kids a hard time, but the truth is I love 'em. What other chance does an art director have to have so much control over the look of a spot? From A to Z, it's the only production I have ever seen that an AD can call every single shot. Yeah, they're packed with side-by-side demos and legal jargon, but you can't deny they look great.

Here's the unfinished set from this year's spot...

...and last year's spot that Zoe and I did.

Nathan's.

2010-07-08T09:06:00.000-07:00

Pepto-Bismol sponsored the Nathan's Hotdog Eating Contest in Coney Island on Sunday, and as part of the Pepto team, I went down there with some friends and coworkers. As a vegetarian, the thought of hotdogs in general is unsettling enough, but the mass overeating of them is truly disgusting. Offensive almost. Add midgets in costumes, cheerleaders in skimpy outfits and shirtless drunken meatheads all in the baking July 4th sun in trashtown Coney Island and you get...

Pure magic?

I'm not a patriotic person. I think people that have a boner for America are kinda weird. But as I looked around at people of all races, sexes and sizes stuffing their mouths with hotdogs, people wasted in the street and of course, the camera crews that came to capture it all, I felt a little different. When the announcer, President of Major League Eating, yelled out 'Isn't this the greatest country in world?' I raised my can of Coors Light along with everyone else, and thought 'It sure is.'

Painting.

2010-07-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

My folks threw me a little bit of money for my birthday and said I could spend it however I wanted. So instead of drinking it all away, I bought some paints, brushes, canvases and gesso. Ladies and gentlemen: my first (completed) painting in 5 years.

Skyline.

2010-06-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

We had already signed the lease on our new apartment and Jillian and I went over before we moved in to measure stuff. I hadn't really looked out the windows when we had seen the place the first time. So you can imagine how I felt when I looked out and saw this:

Lovelace.

2010-06-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to see Lindsey Lohan play Linda Lovelace in 'Inferno.' I know, I know. Lindsey Lohan is a mess and if the movie was any good in the first place, they wouldn't have cast her in the lead roll. But sometimes even Hollywood can take a chance and get it right. Courtney Love played Larry Flynt's wife and got a Golden Globe nomination. Madonna played Eva Peron and won a Golden Globe. Mickey Rourke won a Golden Globe and almost an Oscar for playing a washed up pro wrestler. And if it can happen to Mickey, it can happen to anyone.

But Lindsey has nothing to do with my Inferno excitement. If you didn't know, Deep Throat was Linda Lovelace's first feature length XXX Porn. Nothing about the movie was particularly new or original, but it was released right around the time that Nixon was trying to rid the world of 'smut', and it became the whipping boy for the movement. So once the government tried to tell people that they couldn't see it, of course, everyone went to go see it. And Linda became the poster child for women's sexual freedom.

Linda was a complicated person, and she went back and forth on feminism, porn, born again then porn again. Her life was a series of phases, all of which she followed someone that would lead her. She died tragically in a car crash in 2002.

Deep Throat still exists, but for the full story, watch the documentary Inside Deep Throat. You can watch the trailer here.

Really?

2010-06-22T10:19:00.000-07:00

You go to all the trouble to buy spraypaint, go out late at night when no one is watching, deface public property, and this is what you've got to say?

Arts in school, people. Make it happen.

The Human Centipede.

2010-06-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

[If you don't like vomiting on your computer screen, this post may not be for you]

What better way to kick off my first blog post in over a year than with a movie review about a guy who sews people together via their digestive systems?

Yup. A demented surgeon kidnaps some people and then surgically combines them, mouth to ass, all sharing the same intestines. Or intestine. I'm a little confused about that part. If any medical people are reading this, drop me a detailed explanation. And illustrations.

I'm sure that this will come as a huge surprise, but it's not a good movie. Besides being completely ludacris, it's poorly acted and at some points a little dull. Yet, it's the freshest movie the horror genre has seen in 20 years. I don't have any proof about that last sentence. But hear me out. When was the last time you saw a horror movie with a zombie, a ghost, a monster, someone that came back from the dead in an unpleasant manner or someone that had something sharp instead of a hand. My guess is yesterday. There just aren't that many different ways to kill people.

But The Human Centipede manages to trump all by having an unusually low body count, never really showing anything too gory, and focusing on utter lack of humanity. When it comes to concept, this guy nails it. And it manages to climax in a horrible worse case scenario that for once, is truly satisfying.

It's the kind of of movie that you may never have the privilege of ever being able to forget. Five stars.

The blog is back.

2010-06-21T12:28:00.000-07:00

Yup, I'm bringing blogging back. But bear with me, it's been awhile.

Oscar Results.

2009-02-23T06:46:00.000-08:00

Well, this is the worst I have done in awhile. 16/24

Oscars.

2009-02-20T07:45:00.000-08:00

My favorite time of year has finally come: Oscars. Yet this year is kindof a snoozefest. No real surprises. That being said, there are always a few upsets. So here are my completely overthought, overobsessed predictions.

Best Picture: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader, Slumdog Millionaire

Duh, Slumdog. Oscar has a boner for it, for some odd reason. However, if an upset were to come here, it would not be the most nominated film, Benjy Button, but instead Milk. Why? Older members will vote for Benjy, younger voters opt for Slumdog. If the two cancel each other out, Milk slips into the top spot. Also, Brokeback was robbed a few years ago in favor of the dreadful Crash, which Oscar has still not recovered from. Milk will get some votes, but I wouldn't bet a dime on it winning.

Best Director: Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire), Stephen Daldry (The Reader), David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Ron Howard (Frost/Nixon), Gus Van Sant (Milk)

Danny Boyle. He's one every other award and he has a good body of work. Upsets? None likely. But I would say David Fincher for Benjy. He's well known and it was an ambitious film. But I don't think it is his year.

Best Actor: Richard Jenkins (The Visitor), Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon), Sean Penn (Milk), Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)

It all comes down to Sean and Mickey. Langella is terrific, but Frost just doesn't have enough momentum. My guess is Mickey Rourke. Sean Penn never really seems to care about the Oscars and he already has one. The voters loved Milk, but Rourke offers one of those Oscar moments that will be remembered forever. Plus he gives great acceptance speeches.

Best Actress: Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married), Angelina Jolie (Changeling); Melissa Leo (Frozen River), Meryl Streep (Doubt), Kate Winslet (The Reader)

Kate Winslet. They made it impossible for her to lose by only nominating her for one film this year. It's in the bag.

Best Supporting Actor: Josh Brolin (Milk), Robert Downey, Jr. (Tropic Thunder), Philip Seymour Hoffman (Doubt), Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight), Michael Shannon (Revolutionary Road)

Heath Ledger. No explanation needed.

Best Supporting Actress: Amy Adams (Doubt), Penélope Cruz (Vicky Cristina Barcelona), Viola Davis (Doubt), Taraji P. Henson (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler)

This is the only real toss-up. Everyone says Cruz, but I am going to take a risk and call Viola Davis. She had the real "breakout" performance this year. Upstaging Meryl Streep is a tough feat, especially in only 8 minutes of screen time. But watch out for Henson, she could be Benjys only opportunity at taking a top award, and voters really like her.

Best Original Screenplay: WALL-E, Happy-Go-Lucky, Frozen River, In Bruges, Milk

Milk. WALL-E comes closest to an upset, but with very little written dialogue and no Best Pic nod, it's a long shot.

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, The Reader, Slumdog Millionaire, Doubt

Slumdog. It's a lock.

Best Animated Feature: Bolt, Kung Fu Panda, WALL-E
WALL-E. Locked.

Best Foreign Language Film: Revanche (Austria), The Class (France), The Baader Meinhof Complex (Germany), Departures (Japan), Waltz With Bashir (Israel)
Waltz With Bashir has the upper hand with a true story told in animation. It won the Golden Globe and some actual, live human beings have seen it. But don't rule out The Class, which has actually gotten better overall reviews.

Best Animated Short: La Maison En Petits Cubes, Lavatory - Lovestory, Oktapodi, Presto, This Way Up
I have no idea. And I have seen them all. Presto has the most clout, being a Pixar film, but Pixar is already going to win this year with WALL-E. If I had to vote, I'd go for La Maison, but something tells me This Way Up is going to win.

Best Art Direction: Changeling, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, The Duchess, Revolutionary Road
Ben Button. No real competition here.

Best Cinematography: Changeling, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, The Reader, Slumdog Millionaire
Slumdog.

Best Costume Design: Australia, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Duchess, Milk, Revolutionary Road
The Duchess. Period films always win. Plus Australia was apparently god-awful.

Best Documentary Feature: Nerakhoon, Encounters at the End of the World, The Garden, Man on Wire, Trouble the Water
Man on Wire is the only one I have seen, and it was great. The only real talk of an upset is Trouble the Water, based on victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Best Documentary Short: The Conscience of Nhem En, The Final Inch, Smile Pinki, The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306
The Conscience of Nhem En's director has three previous nods and no wins, making it a favorite. But that's all I really know about any of these films.

Best Film Editing: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, Frost/Nixon, Milk, Slumdog Millionaire
I always judge these categories by thinking "what story couldn't be told if it had no editor and was shot scene-for-scene?" Slumdog.

Best Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight; Hellboy II: The Golden Army
"What story couldn't be told if it had no makeup?" Button.

Best Sound Editing: The Dark Knight, Iron Man, Slumdog Millionaire, WALL-E, Wanted
"What story couldn't be told if it had no expressive sounds?" WALL-E.

Best Sound Mixing: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, Slumdog Millionaire, WALL-E, Wanted
No one really even knows what this means, but my guess is that The Dark Knight and all of those action scenes have something to do with something.

Best Visual Effects: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, Iron Man
Button is going to win this, with 80 years of time to cover.

Best Live Action Short: On the Line, Manon On the Asphalt, New Boy, The Pig, Toyland
Toyland? It's about the Holocaust, so that's my guess.

Best Original Score: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Defiance, Milk, Slumdog Millionaire, WALL-E
Slumdog.

Best Original Song: “Down To Earth” (WALL-E), “Jai Ho” (Slumdog Millionaire), “O Saya” (Slumdog Millionaire)
No one really knows. My thought is that Jai Ho will win, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Down to Earth, since Slumdog is going to win so much other crap. Plus no one is even reading this anymore.

So those are my bets. Anyone care to challenge me? A dollar per category you disagree on?

Blog.

2009-01-26T15:50:00.001-08:00

I'm gonna start blogging again, I swear.

Tomorrow.

Politics.

2008-09-17T07:07:00.000-07:00

There is a reason I have not blogged in over three weeks.

Yup, Politics.

For some strange reason, I have thrown myself into the presidential race lately. Eating, sleeping and breathing electoral votes, conventions, teenage pregnancies and farm animal cosmetics. I listen to an average of five hours a day of political commentary via Podcast. Usually BBC and NPR. Then I rush home and watch CNN until I go to bed.

I'm not going to flood my blog with my political opinions. There are enough out there. Plus I'm sure no one cares.

But I will say this. Please register to vote. And then actually do it. This race will be one of the most historic and groundbreaking elections in the history of this country and we should be thrilled to be a part of it.

But the biggest opportunity is to take the votes from old people. Whether Democrat or Republican, they are the ones that vote. Not us, the people who the race will affect most. We can potentially redraw the map. We should seize that opportunity.

On a side note, my next blog will be an opportunity to vote on how to make me "cool".

Rock.

2008-08-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

I haven't thought about it for awhile, and I am sure many of you will be surprised, but I used to listen to good music.

It's true. I wasn't always a Britney/Madonna/Abba fanatic. In my younger days, I loved Lou Reed and Iggy Pop...I listened to Nirvana (pre Nevermind) and electric Dylan, Velvet Underground and Patti Smith. There were days when I could even stomach some earlier Zepplin...

But as the gay caught up with me, I started listening to crappier music. It's fun and stupid and you can listen to it virtually anywhere. Because it's so sterile, it's always the right occasion.

But tonight, I went to a show where my former roommate (circa 1999), his brother, a guy I used to bartend with, and two other people that I did not know played a show in Brooklyn right around the corner from me. I figured I would waltz in and surprise them...They would never expect to see me at a rock show. And surprise them, I did.

But something happened there last night. I mainly went to be supportive...I didn't really think they would be any good. But they were, in fact, pretty good. The music was well-composed. The sound and acoustics were terrific. The band had an idea, a concept. A reason to be there. They were a little off-key, but so what? While I stood in the balcony watching them, pouring out their heart and souls, I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. It was like that first time I saw Courtney moan "You look good in my dress." or Patti screaming "I have not sold myself to God."

No, no. Rock is not dead, I said to myself.

I had just forgotten it.

And for a brief moment, I was proud to be a part of it.

What's my brand?

2008-08-25T07:34:00.001-07:00

Jillian and I have been talking alot about making our second books lately, and her brand is better than mine. I am trying to figure out what mine is and how to portray it in paper-fashion. Obviously, I am aware that my whole persona is over-the-top, but what is my key visual?

Is it this?

Or this?

Or maybe this?

I have written a new spot for myself that will take a good month to shoot, and I have a couple new promotional pieces that I have been thinking about. But what one thing can visually tie this whole thing together?

Can I get some thoughts?

Ass.

2008-08-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

I always thought at sometime in my life I would reach the point where I stopped being capable of making a complete and total ass of myself.

I have not reached that point yet.

Dear Britney...

2008-08-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'm really proud of you. You are turning it around. Your new promos on MTV are terrific. You look great, and that subtle, southern, nubile girlishness that we missed so much is back.

Have you been taking happy pills? Did you get a new stylist? Where did all of your stupid clothes go?

I'm glad I didn't dump you last year. I hope our new relationship will be one filled with joy and exuberance.

Love,

Slate

PS. Is that real hair?

Dear 2nd years...

2008-08-13T06:50:00.001-07:00

I trust that you have all had great summers and are looking forward to heading back to Brandcenter for an incredible year. I have some bad news, but let's face it. You already know. It's going to be excruciating.

And since last year I jokingly gave advice to you, which backfired on me since I didn't know that other people in the world knew how to "google", I thought I should give you some real advice which I am sure you could care less about. But this isn't your blog. It's my blog. And I can do anything I want.

Advice Topic #1:
Be yourself. I know it sounds like a Sesame Street cartoon, but it is true. Eventually people find out that you are not who you say you are, so you might as well fess up now. Plus it gives you a great way out. "I was just being myself". It sounds so innocent.

Advice Topic #2:
Don't listen to your teachers. Unless they are right. Your teachers are old and retired. They did things their way in their time. This is your time now. It's your time.

Advice Topic #3:
You are going to have to make a book. Start thinking about this now. A book is more than some assignments thrown into a portfolio case. It's a book. With your discerning eye for art and packaging, make a book that you would want to pick up if you saw it on a shelf somewhere. Put the work down after a while. Concentrate on packaging that thing, so that when people see it, they say "wow". And then they offer you a job.

Advice Topic #4
Sometimes it's better to go home and go to bed. If you haven't come up with it at 2am, you aren't going to come up with it at 4am. You'll feel better in the morning, vibrant and refreshed.

Advice Topic #5
Don't wait until recruiter session to start thinking about where you want to work. Because all of a sudden, recruiter session is over and so is school. And it's weird. And no one is looking out for you anymore.

Advice Topic #6
Find what you do best. Then do it. Then sell it.

I feel like I am missing some things, but perhaps I will remember later. Anyone else have advice?

Allies.

2008-08-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, just as I had had enough of the project I am working on, the angels of advertising smiled upon me.

It's strange in the real world. When you can't come up with anything for a campaign, you don't just bury it like you do in school. You have to stand there and present things that you know don't make sense. And it hurts.

So just as I was getting ready to do the Jillian-patented-head-on-your-desk-in-defeat-move, I turned around, sensing a presence. And that presence was Peter Coughter.

Coughter was in town for his Presentation Skills workshop and stopped in Publicis to help out a little on a pitch. And for the past two days, I had an ally, something every junior needs desperately.

In the book of life lessons, I will never forget what Coughter taught us. Be yourself. Don't stand up in front of a room full of strangers and act like someone else. Be yourself. It's genuine and real. People like genuine and real.

Coughter did not leave without a proper goodbye, drinks on the roofdeck of the Metro Hotel with Tim, Casey, Laura, Zoe, Jillian and the ghost of Nick Kaplan. And three beers in, I realized that some people would always be around when you need them. And whether I realized it at the time or if it took me until now, teachers have a way of changing your life. Even if said teachers decide that their class must positively be held at 9:00 on Friday morning.

Coughter is on a plane now, headed back to VA and I have to say that getting up this morning was a little harder than usual. But the spirit of Sir Coughter is still floating around, walking in front of me on the street to protect me from midtown walker rush hour, using his awkwardly tall stature to intimidate people out of the way so that I may have a clear path in my travels.

Thank you, sir.

Magazines.

2008-07-25T11:28:00.001-07:00

It has been brought to my attention that perhaps I have a problem. A magazine problem.

I have always loved magazines. When I was a kid, I used to go to the grocery store with my father every Saturday, just to buy new magazines. Bop, Teen Beat...When I got older it was Spin, Rolling Stone...And I had some subscriptions, 1 or 2 maybe.

But recently, the problem has escalated.

It began with college magazine discounts. Everything was on sale, so you almost felt like you'd have to be stupid to not get in on those great deals. So I started getting a couple of magazines. It was great at first… Vogue, Vanity Fair and GQ. I always had a copy in my bag and always knew when someone was poorly accessorized.

But then I started getting notices: Esquire for $12 a year, W is on sale, Details at 1/3 of the store price. I couldn’t say no. Then Men’s Vogue, Interview, Rolling Stone. No one even reads those magazines, but they were so cheap. And they come right to your door.

Then I realized that there are international magazines that I don’t even have to read. They just have a lot of pictures and words I don’t understand. So I started getting those.

And then the magazines started stacking up.

It started with just one stack and I would grab a few every now and then and flip through them. Then there were two piles, then three. After six months I didn’t even bother taking them out of the plastic. I just threw them in the fourth pile.

Last Christmas, unbeknownst to my family, I brought extra bags full of magazines to Hawaii. I thought that I would read them on the plane and leave them behind for other people to read. You know, drop them off as I went, then fill the bags with stuff I bought in Hawaii.

But when we tried to get on the plane, my bags were overweight…Magazines are heavy. I had to pull them out and redistribute them in my family’s bags in order to meet weight requirements. “Throw them away,” they kept saying. But I couldn’t do it. They had to go with me.

And all those great souvenirs I was going to buy in Hawaii? Magazines. I just bought magazines.

By the time the semester was over and it was time to move out, they were everywhere. Four stacks in the living room, a stack under the sink in the bathroom, a stack behind the toilet, 3 stacks by the trash, and a whopping 7 piles in the living room closet. I had two friends come over to help me finish packing. I kept saying "Don't touch the magazines. They're going with me."

What began as an attempt to keep up with society has turned into a burden. A burden I have to live with every day of my life. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without my magazines. But I just can’t bear to think about it. It’s too painful.

There is no resolve to this story. I got three more yesterday in the mail.

And I started a new pile.

Reflections.

2008-07-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that the past two weeks even really existed. There was so much drama leaving Richmond, yet surprisingly little entering New York. Here's the rundown...

Packing my apartment was a nightmare. That whole joke about my place being overdecorated just for the sake of doing it? Not funny. It was horrible trying to clean the watercolors off the wall, stripping fabrics off the cabinets, ceilings, windows...Not to mention having to throw away half of the stuff in there. Needless to say, I wasn't packed by the time my folks got there. But at least they tried to hide their anger.

I then had a little time before we left to finish packing. But I also had a lot of people to say goodbye to and (what a surprise) that took precedence. So at 5:00am, when I was supposed to be in the car heading to get Jillian and her microwave, I was still throwing things in bags and trying to haul it all out of the house. This time my parents chose not to hide their anger.

And then, all of a sudden, we were in New York. We unloaded the truck into our much bigger than I remembered apartment, went to Home Depot and bought air conditioners, went out to dinner...

The next day we bought paint and started getting the house in order. Josh came up for the week and we got to hang out. Saw the fireworks on the 4th of July.

Monday I started at Publicis and it is going great. I love NY. I love my job. I even love grouchy Jillian.

Tomorrow I will be back to my old cynical ways, with pictures of the place and plenty of attitude. But today I am just basking in how great things have turned out so far.

Cheers.

Disaster. Vol 12.

2008-06-20T08:35:00.000-07:00

It's true, I have moved plenty of times. Twelve times, to be exact. Thats 1.2 times every year since I left my parents house at 18. And I guess it is fair to say that I have the same emotions every time. "Look at me, I'm starting a new life!" and "Uh-oh, this has the potential to be a huge disaster!" But this time seems a little different. I'm ready to go to New York. But I am scaling my life back a little. And that is kinda hard for me. If you hadn't noticed, I am what many of you would call "high maintenance" and/or "gay". And not having everything I have ever wanted shocks and appalls me. So as I have been trying to get rid of everything I own in a pleasant and constructive way, this is what I have created in my apartment.

But the truth is, Jillian and I found a great place in Williamsburg...Two bedrooms, Two living rooms...even a sink in the bathroom. (Don't laugh, you would be amazed at the places we saw before this one.

It's kinda sad. I love my apartment here. It's a great size. And even though it looks like a blind tranny decorated it, it's mine.

For one more week.

Sixty.

2008-06-15T11:21:00.001-07:00

Last week Brandcenter offered me an undisclosed amount of money to come help do some data entry that would eventually lead to getting 6000 copies of SIXTY out the door. At that point, I had no job and really A. needed the money and B. was hanging on to the notion that some insane creative director may see my work and call me for an interview. The situation changed over the past weekend, and I was not particularly interested in going back to Brandcenter to stuff envelopes.

But as it turns out, stuffing thousands of envelopes full of SIXTYs was just what I needed to finish the job. It seemed only appropriate that I was there, way after everything I needed to do was done, seeing it through. SIXTY took up a big part of my life in the second year at Brandcenter, and watching something I was so proud of get loaded up on the mail truck was a great feeling.

Get ready for all of those job offers, graduates.

Intervention. (Disney Style)

2008-06-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

It started off when I lost the remote to my TV and it just "happened" to be stuck on the Disney channel. But now two weeks have gone by and I am starting to really like Hannah Montana. Really like her. Alot.

And it isn't just her. I have seen both High School Musical movies three times each. I know the full names of every actor on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. I laugh out loud watching The Wizards of Waverly Place. Today I didn't answer a call from Jillian because there was a preview for the new Jonas Bothers movie on.

I am really afraid that a group of my friends are going to show up and forcibly remove the TV from my house. It would be an intervention style reality special where they would stand around me in a circle chanting "Hannah Montana is not real. She is Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter in a wig. You are twenty-eight years old".

If any creative directors are reading this, please give me a job. We can end these unpleasantries together.

Thank you.

The evening news.

2008-06-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

Apparently no one watches the nightly local news and last night I realized why. Duh, people get their news and weather from the internet alot quicker than waiting for 6 or 10pm. But I think the reason no one watches this shit is because of the newscasters. Who are these people, anyway? Robots from the planet Jupiter? You know who I'm talking about. Mid-50's-not-even-cool-enough-to-be-your-dad-republican-white-guy. African American sister with no soul. How can anyone want to trust these people with their news?

At Europa, there is a dishwasher named Ronnie. He has three teeth and wears the same shirt every day. He swears and farts and has frequent random outbursts. This is the kindof person that should be on the news. I can just imagine it. "Here's Ronnie with the weather." And Ronnie would say in his two pack of Newports a day gravely snarl: "The weather? It's hot. Duh. Three old people died it was so hot. It's I thought I was gonna crap myself hot." That's what people want to know anyway. They can get the fine print on the internet.

And how about the 300 lb Richmond celebrity tranny Dirtwoman? She'd have everyone watching.

Or maybe these people.

And maybe even a 90 year old woman that delivers the murder report. She could say "I don't know what's wrong with kids these days" after every report.

Now that's news worth watching.

P.S.

2008-02-10T08:13:00.001-08:00

I didn't win the lottery.

Millions.

2008-01-29T09:19:00.000-08:00

I bought a lottery ticket on Sunday night when I was depressed and angry at the world. I had a brief conversation with the folks at 7-11 about how I never play unless things are really bad.

Which automatically put me back into "what if" mode. What if I won? 73 million dollars is a lot of money. Taxes would take care of that, but what would I do with the rest? Would I tell anyone? Would I finish school? Would I buy my friends alot of stuff? Would I buy an agency? Would I drop dead before I even cashed in the ticket?

What would you do?

Seriously, where the hell am I?

2008-01-18T09:25:00.000-08:00

Am I supposed to be making fake ads now? I don't wanna. And there is too much going on too fast. Sixty, award shows, books, websites, assignments. And One show. Ugh.

I don't wanna.

I want to go back to Hawaii.

Monks.

2008-01-13T00:37:00.000-08:00

My sister had been making a tremendous deal about going to the Hindu Temple, a place that is listed as one of the holiest places on earth. We made enormous amounts of fun of her, but all went anyway. As it turns out, this is the location of the most beautiful place I have ever seen in my life. After walking the grounds, we stepped out onto the overlook and saw this.

I took panoramic shots so that someday I can assemble the 20 photos to make a poster size shot of something that a camera cannot capture.

In those few moments alone, before my family realized what I was looking at, I realized why people become monks. Especially in Hawaii.

Altitude.

2008-01-12T10:38:00.001-08:00

The family and I decided to spend Thursday traveling up the West Coast. And I mean up. The highest point we reached (where the road stopped) was like 1300 feet or something. That's really high. So high that you are looking down on the clouds. Or in them.

We also did some exploring.

Then we came home and took naps.

Oops.

2008-01-12T10:38:00.000-08:00

Sea Creatures.

2008-01-12T01:38:00.000-08:00

My sister and I took a Zodiac tour, where you go out in the ocean on a boat and see the cliffs and caves of the North Shore.

We did not expect to see any mammals in our excursion. We were pleasantly surprised.

Road Trip, Day 1

2008-01-09T09:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we took an all day drive up the east side of Kauai.

The best part was "Secret Beach", which is not too much of a secret, just really hard to get to.

We found the turn off, the dirt road, the windy path and the muddy trail that lead down to it. After about a 10 minute slide down the mud, we came to a clearing where the beach was visible.

There were a few people down there. Literally a few. It made me think of that scene in Y Tu Mama Tambien where they step over the dune and see 'Heaven's Mouth', a beach that they didn't even know existed.

Here are a few more of my favorites.

Sun.

2008-01-08T00:45:00.000-08:00

Perfect days are rare, I admit. But there sometimes seem to be ones that you wouldn't necessarily change anything about. That was today. For some unknown reason, my sis and I woke up while it was still dark and went out to watch the sun rise.

Then the rest of the family woke up and we headed to the state park for snorkeling.

we then had lunch, watched the whales jump outside of the condo, then headed to dinner.

Perfect doesn't happen everyday. especially not with your family. But it was close today.

Day One, Waikiki.

2008-01-06T21:35:00.000-08:00

A few minor setbacks getting to the hotel barely even set us back, and we arrived in Waikiki around 4:30pm. We got cocktails and then headed directly to sushi with mom's best friend that lives here. We basically fell asleep at the table when dinner was over...jetlag was rough this time around. After all, none of us are getting any younger. But today was a dream come true. We had breakfast at the tea room, followed by some sightseeing.

Then it was back on a plane. This time to Kauai, where we will stay for 9 more days.

We got here just in time to hit the beach for sunset.

Wow.

Wow.

Aloha.

2008-01-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

Well, we made it. And let me tell you, 17 hours is a long time to be on a plane. I nodded off for a little while at some point and woke up thinking "Oh God, I have to get off of this plane." I thought that we must be pretty close to Honolulu. We were over Oklahoma.

But it got better after the cocktail service (which my family is always happy to partake). And we made it in one piece. Here are some initial pics of the first leg of the trip. Notice all the Crocs.

Disaster.

2008-01-03T07:37:00.000-08:00

By the end of every semester, my apartment looks like a tornado has gone through it. Thousands of papers with crude Sharpie drawings on them. Empty bottles and cans of various energy/caffeine content. Art Supplies. Articles and pictures from the 8,000 magazines I subscribe to. And so before the semester begins, I go through everything and try to organize and clean, but mostly I try to throw away as many things as possible. And since I leave for Hawaii tomorrow, now is the time.

If you were to open the door to my apartment right now, this is what would be looking back at you.

New Years.

2008-01-02T06:29:00.000-08:00

For the past few years, when I have had a restaurant job, I volunteer to work New Years Eve. This always gives me an opportunity to make money, drink for free and hang out with the wild kids late night. New Years Eve usually ends at around, well, midnight. But the restaurant crew is just getting off work, and the night is still young. Every time they try to get me to go out with them I say no. Usually school or school-related things (ie sleep) get in the way. With no excuses this time, and against my better judgement, I went out with the crew.

If you have ever walked by "The Doghouse" in Shockoe Slip, you probably got shot by a biker and are therefore not reading this. It's not a nice place. Yet I managed to suck in my pride and go there with the staff. It was the kind of place where you don't even wash your hands in the bathroom because the water and sink is probably dirtier than anything that you possibly could have touched while doing your business.

But it was a great time. I ended up in a few more places that night before landing at home, but those are stories for another day. Hope everyone had a great New Years.

Christmas, Part 1.

2007-12-27T08:08:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I stopped going to my parents traditional Christmas Eve celebration (church and a Christmas party) and began spending it with a different family.

Ever since I met my best friend Elizabeth in high school, I have always spent some part of the Christmas holidays her family. Usually I would just go for a few hours on Christmas day, but since her folks moved away we have had to re-structure. So every Christmas Eve, I have dinner with my other family before driving home late to be with my actual family.

This was a big wake-up call to me. Most of you probably know that I hate Christmas. And I always had the overwhelming feeling of impending doom associated with it. But Elizabeth's family has shown me the reason why.

Having spent 27 years of my life alone, essentially, has left me pretty cold-hearted. I watch my family with their husbands and wives happily celebrating the holidays with love. And it always had me feeling a little left out. I have realized that due to my nature, I will probably never have a family of my own. I will probably always be single. And Elisabeth's family will probably be the closest thing that I will ever have to a family of my own.

And in the Christmas spirit, I am truly thankful for both of my families.

Cold.

2007-12-18T08:35:00.001-08:00

Man, it's cold here. There is about a foot of snow on the ground and the temperature is about -1000 degrees.

But it feels like home. Every time I come back I feel like I haven't left. Then I start to get sad, because I know I have to go home soon. But until then, here is our day.

Breakfast
Juno
Shopping in Harvard Square
Lunch
New David Lynch documentary, followed by Eraserhead
Tila Tequila party at Missy's friends house
Dinner
New gay club by my old school

More tomorrow...

Boston.

2007-12-17T07:55:00.000-08:00

Not gonna lie, the past week has been rough. Not just physically and mentally taxing, but emotionally as well. I learned that a full week with roughly 12 hours of sleep total is not so healthy. And not worth it. Plus the job at Europa and Christmas shopping. And I have two people staying in my living room all this month.

Enough complaining. I am leaving for Boston in an hour. So excited. I am going to attempt to eat up every piece of culture I can. Missy (my former roommate) and I have planned to go to every museum, gallery, and a record-breaking 8 movies in 4 days.

This will continue my time-honored annual trip to see Miss every year. We lived together in Boston 8 years ago and have still managed to stay best friends, even though we haven't live in the same city since '01. I should also mention that the only thing that has gotten me through this past week was this trip.

Pictures to follow.

The blog is coming back.

2007-12-09T08:08:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry. I just made it a point to not talk about advertising on my blog. And that is all I have ben doing. No one got slapped at Europa. I didn't take the private jet anywhere. I've just been working on ads.

So the blog comes back up in a few days. Let's say Friday. It will be reporting live from Boston, then Hawaii. Stay tuned.

Beach.

2007-10-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

Man, I miss living at the beach right now. October and November were always my favorite months in Rehoboth. The stupid tourons were gone and I was left with my thoughts. I only had to work a few days a week to get by, living on the money I made during the past 4 months. My family would come visit, and I was free again to visit them.

I say this, because this past weekend I got to get away from the Adcenter and go see my family in the Outer Banks where they had rented a condo for the weekend. It was my dad's birthday, and for once in my career at Adcenter, I decided to leave town. It was well worth it, even though it was only for a short time. I got to go out with my family for dinner, show my grandma all the work I have been doing, and wake up late with a view of the ocean.

Life at Adcenter, even Richmond, isn't all that bad. I know I doing the right thing for myself, and I am glad to be here. But some days I think of my life back at the beach. It was a great life, really.

Are there any ad agencies in Hawaii?

Zac Efron. My kind of guy.

2007-10-20T17:06:00.000-07:00

Update.

2007-10-18T13:05:00.001-07:00

Still smoking? Nope.

Join the gym? Yup.

Been going to the gym? Everyday.

I hope it lasts....

Stop.

2007-10-15T07:55:00.000-07:00

Yup, I am requitting smoking today. I am also joining the gym downtown. I have finally realized that my gut is not going to go away by eating french fries and smoking cigarettes. Sitting on the sofa for long periods of time also hasn't helped.

So when you see me, pat me on the back. I love the attention, but more importantly, it will show me that you think I am doing the right thing. It will also make me feel bad when I am craving a cigarette.

Smoking.

2007-10-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

Yup. I have (kinda) started again. I bought a pack on Wednesday night of last week. I only smoked two that night, but Thursday...That is a whole different story. Luckily I either threw them away that night or lost them. But the point of the story is that I smoked quite a few off them. So now, I need some help. Not from Jillian, she'll just make fun of me. But seriously. It needs to stop. Any encouraging thoughts?

Jazz Fest Stuff.

2007-10-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

So I was blown away when I received all of this "stuff" in the mail from my internship. It was all of the magazines, t-shirts, etc from the Taste of Fourth Avenue Jazz Festival which happened last week. As many of you know, this was one of the pro-bono projects I worked on all summer at Intermark. Looks like it went pretty well, judging from the reel I got in my inbox a few days ago. And not to plug Intermark too much, but if there are any first year students reading, you may want intern at Ogilvy or DDB and that is fine. But small agencies NEED your help. They will look to you for creative inspiration, as opposed to shoving you in a cubicle. You will get the opportunity to see your ideas produced and to work with professional creatives. Not just other interns. I'm not saying you should do it. I'm just saying.

PS. The website that I made is at http://www.4thAveJazz.com

Worst song ever awards.

2007-09-22T08:55:00.001-07:00

So I was having a heated conversation with a good friend the other day about music and we hit a fork in the road. What is the worst song ever? I maintain that it is "Rumors" by Club Noveau specifically for the line:

"Did you hear that one about Susan?
Some say she's much too loose
That came from a guy I knew
who say he tasted her juice"

She disagreed and named her worst as Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time", which contained the lyrics

My girl wants to party all the time
Party all the time
party all the time.
My girl wants to party all the time
party all the time.
She parties all the time - party all the time
She likes to party all the time - party all the time
party all the time - she likes to party all the time
party all the time.

I agreed that it was a terrible song, but that it only had one bad factor: Stupidity. "Rumors" was stupid and the lyrics made no sense. This opened a whole new can of worms as we begun to list songs such as Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers' "Islands in the Stream" which contains the lines

"Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb".

What does that even mean? And for the record, how can someone's kiss be on your list? It doesn't make any sense. And what is a Sussussidio? And why does Fergie's London Bridge keep falling down? What is a London Bridge, anyway?

I am sure there were more. Did we miss any?

Dear Britney,

2007-09-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

I miss us.

The times we used to have, the dreams we used to share. I know I never admitted that I liked you, but when people criticized you too much, I stood up for you. We used to spend time together, we liked the same things. We sang and danced together. We even took a road trip.

But things have changed.

You've changed.

Where is that girl that wouldn't step out of the house before she looked like gold? The girl that headlined every awards show? The one they called the "next Madonna"? You were always a little trashy, but I didn't mind. Deep down I think it made us closer. I never thought you were perfect, but you were pretty close.

I think we have to call it quits.

I can't stand the embarrassment anymore. People look at me funny now. And I have given you numerous chances. But last night was the final straw. You can choose drugs, or you can choose me, but you can't have both.

Please consider this ultimatum. I think it will make you stronger and happier.

Sincerely,
Slate Harper Donaldson

PS. And fix those nappy-ass extensions, too.

Behavoir Issues.

2007-08-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

I am no stranger to inappropriate behavior. In fact, I pride myself on it. But last night I had to lightly bitchtap one of my Europa customers.

As I was walking around the table to get an unpleasantly dressed woman’s order, an empty table caught my apron pocket. The table loudly banged up against the wall, knocking the salt and pepper shakers on the floor. Needless to say, everyone in the entire world turned around and looked at me briefly, then went back to their business. But not chica. She decided that I was not nearly embarrassed enough, even though I was as red as a tomato. She felt the need to loudly clap her hands, as if I had just put on a show for her amusement.

So I felt the need to kill her.

But I opted for an open-handed shoulder slap and a scolding comment. “Why would you do that? Can’t you see I’m embarrassed? How would you feel if someone did that to you?”

Her reply was something along the lines of “Uhh, uhh, uhh.” And I collected her order and walked away. Luckily, the hostess saw the whole thing, enabling the story to be preserved in its actuality, instead of me embellishing it to the point of where I placed her in handcuffs and walked her to jail.

So do me a favor. Slap the next person that does something inappropriate.

Unless it is me.

Perfect.

2007-08-20T08:57:00.001-07:00

Every now and then, everything in life aligns and things go perfect for just a few days.

Gaycation was phenomenal. My two friends from the Boston days came in and we all headed to Rehoboth in the Jaguar on Wednesday afternoon.

From the moment we got to the suite, everything was divine. We all threw money at everything, drank numerous bottles of champagne, ate at the best restaurants, and laughed obnoxiously loud at everything we said or saw.

We woke at noon everyday, stayed out til the crack of dawn (almost) every night, began cocktail hour at 2pm and spent 8 hour stints on the beach. Here we are at sunset.

Ok, the bragging decadence is over.

I was ready to go back to school until now. Reality: I am not rich. I cannot live the exuberant lifestyle that I have grown accustomed to in the past week. It will take me months to financially recover from the almost unacceptable way we blew money. And in two days I go back to being just another ad nerd.

I want to go back.

Last Day.

2007-08-15T10:47:00.000-07:00

So Friday afternoon, I got a call from the Creative Office Manager saying that there were emergency changes on the Blue Cross Blue Shield piece that I have been working on all summer long. I went to the CD's office and all the creatives were waiting, present in hand. The present (pictures to follow) was a book that they had made me of all the work I had done over the summer, and they all signed it. Apparently John had snuck into my office early one morning and copied all of my files. Then they told me that there were still changes to the BCBS piece. But they didn't make me do them.

Then they took me bowling on the company card. I got pretty wasted.

Par-tay.

2007-08-09T17:55:00.000-07:00

You heard it here first. The official back to school party for the first years is positively allegedly going to be held at none other than: The House of Payne. I got this little tidbit yesterday, and here's the proof.

Looks pretty definite to me. Now all we have to do is tell Tor, EB, and Alex considering that it is their house as well. And they would probably be surprised to walk into their home and find me wearing a clown wig and a lamp shade on my head while sitting in Tor's room in the baby pool drinking a margarita.

On the other hand, they probably wouldn''t be surprised at all by that.

What say, roomies? Is it a deal?

Promises.

2007-08-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

I spoke briefly with Jillian on Monday night. And by briefly, I mean for 3 hours. Literally. We spent most of our time gossiping, of course, but we also talked for awhile about mistakes that we made in our first year and promises that we have made for the upcoming year. We didn't buy promise rings or anything,

but we did make some resolutions. So without further ado, here are a few of mine that I can remember.

1. I am not going to wait until the last day to come up with an idea. After the first week, I will choose one and spend the next week executing it, followed by making the executions better.

2. If it takes you or me 8 hours of meetings everyday for 14 days to crank out one ad, then one of us is in the wrong industry. I am not saying it is you. I'm just saying.

3. I am going to take more time out to do things that I want to do. Not sleep. I don't really care about that. But I sometimes forget that I have a beautiful goddaughter and wonderful best friend twenty minutes away. Spending time with them has risen in my priority list.

4. I canot continue to eat every meal from A. europa B. the vending machines C. the red bull guy who sometimes shows up with free red bull. That's how people die.

and 5. No more computers. I don't really mean this, but after some valuable lessons at my agency and an article that Bukes sent around, I realized. Draw. Paint. Crumple. Then scan it in and play with it. Give it your own personality. Anyone can slap a logo on a piece of stock and call it a day. Give it a little piece of you. That goes for writers too.

I am sure that there were more. Oh, and Bukes. I especially want to hear from you on #5.

First Years.

2007-08-06T08:39:00.000-07:00

So remember the party that last years class threw for us? Are we going to do that for the first years? I am wondering his because:

A. We need to figure out where we are going to do this.
B. How we are going to pay for it.
C. How it can not be white-trashy.

I would offer to do it at my house, but...Well, let's be honest. There is too much crap for people to hurt themselves with at my house. Let's put our heads together.

Zoe's and Hanah's place?
Patrick and Bryan Marvilles house?

Also, it's easier to volunteer other people's places rather than your own.

No way.

2007-08-04T10:16:00.001-07:00

A bit of a surprising phone call, followed by a surprising email. My parents were planning on renting a place in Florida for a few weeks in February. Needless to say, I wouldn't be able to go unless I took my writing partners with me and worked the whole time. Solution?

Upgrade.

Yup, 9 days in Hawaii. And those frequent flyer miles kicked us up to first class.

Oh, and we are staying with Tor's grandma the whole time.

What have you learned?

2007-08-03T06:38:00.000-07:00

I have one more week.

A week from today, my office will be clean, my chair empty, and the agency will be back to it's heterosexual lifestyle. It has been a great summer all in all. I have a full campaign for the Birmingham Jazz Festival under my belt, in which the print, non-trad, and web was all done with me as AD. I also have a full line of print from Bromberg's. I have done non-trad for Blue Cross, Prius, and even gone on a Toyota shoot in Dallas.

So what have I learned? Well first off, thank God I am not in Boyko's class because I would actually have to make a presentation on this. I guess I have learned a few things.

#1. Richmond seems a lot more like home.

#2. Sometimes you have to suck it up and make a shitty ad.

#3. People that are frightened of conflict usually can't get good work produced, and eventually stop trying.

#4. There are some clients who can whitewash a good idea so much that it eventually ends up being a bad idea.

#5. Being an intern ain't so bad.

I am sure I will have some more later in the day. But enough about me...What have you learned? And when can I expect to see your smiling, bright face again in the RIC?

Unacceptable.

2007-08-01T09:45:00.000-07:00

That's right. I have official proof that Dana is not planning on returning to Adcenter.

Is she staying at The Richards Group? I am not sure. Perhaps Ms. Coleman would like to respond on this blog, considering she loves it so much...

If you cannot tell, I find this reprehensible. Ad kids...Are we going to let this happen? I say no. But if we are, what other jobs could Dana get in Texas. Cattle Rancher? Big hat maker?

Tips for first years

2007-07-30T10:03:00.000-07:00

So I have been talking via Facebook to a first year that will remain anonymous, and I have been giving this particular student tips. Not tips that we as a group have collectively decided that they must learn on their own, but quick things that would make his/her life easier. Here are a couple. Please feel free to add on any that I may have missed.

#1. Adcenter is a portfolio school.

#2. Fenske loves it when you touch the screen in lecture hall.

#3. Coz loves puns. If you can't write a pun, you might as well leave the Adcenter.

#4. When in doubt, use the font

Riveria.

2007-07-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

As in Redneck Riveria. That's what they call the beach that we went to for the weekend. And you can see why. Fortunately, the white sand beaches were beautiful. The sunset into the Gulf was gorgeous. We even found a restaurant that had a dress code. All in all, it was a great minivacation.

Now for the bad news. Whenever I go to the beach, I never put on suntan lotion. I always just bake for awhile and then eventually go inside. Saturday, I stayed out all day long and now I can hardly move. I am an almost sickly color red. This is a picture my mom took of me.

Remember.

2007-07-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking this morning. (Which is strange, because my thinking stage doesn't usually come until later in the day.) But Laura's blog often forces me to think.

The first years are coming.

Smiley, happy, full of life and dreams. And instead of calling them dummies, I have decided to reminisce over those first few days almost one year ago.

Remember the first day of Fenske? I slumped in my chair in the back trying not to make eye contact or do anything to draw attention to myself. How about the first day of Don Just, king of all who scared me to death. I remember thinking..."well, there goes grad school for me. I am gonna fail this class hard." And the first days of meeting your Business group. The 6 or 7 people that you would remember and be plagued by their memory for the rest of your natural life.

A whole new group of people are going to be us. Thinking they know everything. Thinking that their Blue Tips brochure will win them an Addy. And as we watch them stumble over Colonial Village and the Magic Eraser tool, let us remember one thing. The only real advice we can give is: Take everything you have learned. Put it in a funnel.

I forgot what happens to it after it goes in the funnel.

Radio.

2007-07-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong that my favorite song is Bobby Brown's theme song from Ghostbusters 2? Really. Is it wrong? Because I listen to the song about 12 times a day.

It's not entirely my fault. I have taken to listening to the radio in the morning when I get up. Birmingham has a great hip hop station called 97 Jamz, which I am really going to miss when I am gone. All they really do is cut on each other, but cutting on others is one of the only things that is done better in the south. The best part of the show: they play snippets from old (usually early 90's) rap/r&b songs and listeners call in and guess what it is. Then the DJ's cut on them. It's all great fun.

Reminder.

2007-07-24T12:18:00.000-07:00

I know that everyone is busy wrapping up their internships and I hate to take up your valuable time. However, all art directors are required to steal every single font that exists inside their respective agency so that we may trade when we get back. I mention this as I am sitting at the senior AD's computer with my flash drive.

Gaycation.

2007-07-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

I just made reservations for my vacation in mid-August. Five advertising-free days in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. The place I still call home. If you are unfamiliar with Rehoboth, or if you are amazed that Delaware is actually a state, you should check it out. It's a small beach town full of little galleries, mega-expensive restaurants, and a lot gay men. In fact, USA Today just named Poodle Beach in Rehoboth the best gay beach in the country. Dela Where?

Missy (my former roommate from Boston) and Liz (my former roommate from Baltimore) are both coming along, so it will be a kinda college reunion, which we do frequently. Liz is in law school, Missy is finishing grad school, so this will be the last hurrah for all of us as we prepare to jump back into hell. And here's some more good news: Mom is letting me borrow her Mustang for the week, so that we can go in a little bit of style. We are wondering whether we will be able to afford style, considering the suite that we are staying in is $200 a night. Luckily, I stashed the Cadillac money for a special occasion.

Besides that, all is well here. My family is coming down on Wednesday and taking me to the coast on Friday for the weekend. I am taking a half day on Friday so that I can get there by dinner. Can't wait to see them, but also can't wait to get out in the sun. Three weeks and counting until I pack up and head back to Richmond. Adcenter kids: when will you be back in Richmond?

Victory.

2007-07-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

As godawful as these past three days have been (15 hour days) I did get this about 5 minutes ago from the ECD.

It is just enough to keep me working for another 5 hours.

Home.

2007-07-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am starting to realize that this is all coming to end very soon. In fact, less than a month. I am also starting to miss Adcenter. Well, maybe not Adcenter, but I miss the Adcenter way of life. I miss my apartment. I miss Europa. I miss Jillian.

Things are still going well here. I could not have asked for a better job. We are crammed with work again this week and probably until my last day. There is talk going around that they are going to ask me to freelance throughout the year.

But now that I can step back a little I realize that this is not the place for me. The agency, maybe, although the clients (with the exception of Toyota) are pretty small. But Birmingham is not right for me. People talk about football, wives, children and golf. Even when I am in client meetings I steer personal conversations away from my personal life. The culture here is different than I am used to. The gay people are all friends, not because they like each other, but because they are gay. This makes no sense to me.

As time races by, I remember what i have left back at home. An over-decorated one bedroom apartment that is my safehouse. Great friends and people that I have things in common with. A wonderful family that has always supported me. And most of all, my life, which has never seemed to be that great or exciting, but suddenly it seems so very...mine.

The one month countdown has begun.

Bastard.

2007-07-11T18:51:00.001-07:00

Private.

2007-07-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

As in "plane" is the only way to travel. Needless to say, I was late getting to the terminal, and the plane was still there. It didn't leave without me, like every other plane that I have been late to. Plus there is no security and a car picks you up at the airport. So we got schlepped around Dallas for awhile, ate alot, went to a meeting, and then flew back to Birmingham. Not a wildly productive day, but a different kind of day. Looks like we may go back in two weeks when the Prius stuff breaks, hopefully overnight.

PS. Dallas is really big.

Problem solved.

2007-07-09T07:22:00.000-07:00

Cooper brought this over to me this morning so I could hang it above my desk.

Dallas.

2007-07-06T06:45:00.000-07:00

So I just found out that they are flying me to Dallas on Tuesday. The Toyota Tundra shoot is starting to get underway, and while they are out there they want to take some beauty shots of the truck. My job, with copywriter John Cooper, is to jostle up some simple ad ideas for the 2008 Tundra so that when they shoot these glamour shots, they will at least have some basic concepts to shoot off of. We leave at 6am on the Intermark private plane and have a client meeting at 2. Unfortunately I won't have time to find Dana or Collier...We will be flying out later that day. I searched for a picture of Dallas, and chose the one that would best suit me.

July 4th.

2007-07-03T06:36:00.000-07:00

Well you can hear a pin drop in Birmingham today, which is a good thing if you are in the habit of dropping pins. What I mean by this, is that everyone heads (farther) south to the beaches, leaving this place empty. I'm not complaining though, because work is quiet for a change, the family I am staying with is out of town and I have the day off tomorrow. I am going to head to John's place on the water tonight and crash there for the next day or so. It will be lotsa swimming, water-skiing, and drinking.

So I thought it was a fleeting thing, but has everyone already seen the Simpsons Movie promotion? Pretty smart. In fact, it could have been smarter for 7-11 than The Simpsons. Everyone that I have talked to or seen online has been dying to find out where they are so they can see it for themselves. My guess is that they will also buy something there. Not a bad idea for a struggling brand like 7-11, who has seen alot of competition from such places as Sheetz and Wawa (at least in the south). What can a brand that is losing all of its discernible differences do to stay alive?

That's right. It can be a whore.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070701/ap_on_bi_ge/7_eleven_kwik_e_mart

Podcasts

2007-06-29T06:40:00.000-07:00

I have decided that podcasts are really cool. I decided this yesterday, when I spent the entire day making comps and listening to every podcast on the face of the earth. Here is a picture of a lady who is listening.

This week in advertising...

2007-06-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

Monday morning came too early and the stuff I had been working on all weekend for Jazzfest was not finished. Luckily neither was anyone else so we pushed to Tuesday and the CD ended up loving what we came up with. His exact words were "You've got too much good stuff up here". That was a huge load off and we patted each other on the back and went back to concepting.

With no time to spare, we kicked into our newspaper ad, which as you recall from last week, did not go well on the first round. We have some new stuff, 70% of which is pretty cool. We show it in an hour.

Prius is still the bane of my existence.

Buyatoyata.com has approved my design and we are "moving forward".

I have been dodging Blue Cross Blue Shield all week.

Not a bad one. Can't wait for tomorrow...going to a poolhouse party with the Birmagays. Saturday my writing partner, his wife, one of the ADs, his girl and I are going out "Martiniing". We are off on Wednesday and select creatives are having an all day pool party. Can't wait.

PS. It is really hot here. I'm no weatherman, but I would say it is probably at least 4 million degrees.

The Swear Jar.

2007-06-23T15:10:00.001-07:00

Art (Thank god).

2007-06-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

So it has been a really long week...Our billion dollar idea for the newspaper was turned down. By the newspaper. Apparently they aren't going to whore their good name for me to win an Addy. Whatever. These businesses with "morals" have got to go. Seriously...newspapers get most of their revenue from advertising. That means advertising has the responsibility of taking advantage of them. Will they ever learn?

Besides all that, our Jazzfest stuff is lagging behind and we have a meeting with the CD on Monday morning to show him everything we got. Goodbye weekend.

The good news is that I got free tickets to Art on the Rocks, Birmingham's seen and be seen drunk art fest. It's kinda like Richmond's Art Walk without the walk. They replace the Walk with Bar. As you recall from my previous post, the Birmingham Art Museum is surprisingly good. I need some inspiration. I also need a drink. Can I get an Amen?

Ouch.

2007-06-19T06:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening after work, I went to the company gym, conveniently located downstairs. This is not a picture of our gym, but of a gym. Our gym is not this nice. Anyways. I went around 8 and there was no one else there, which was nice because I did not know how to use any of the machines, on account of my never having been to a gym in my life. I found it oddly satisfying...Even after watching how stupid I looked in the mirror, especially on the stairmaster. I also looked stupid on this thing that some call the "abductor". What does that even mean? Abductor?

I can now proudly say that after one hour at the gym I have improved myself. I took this picture of myself yesterday morning...

and this picture this morning...

God I'm hot.

Is life really just a cabaret?

2007-06-15T06:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Daniel and I have tickets to Samford's production of Cabaret, which I am surprisingly very excited about. This will not be the first time I have seen it, but it will be the first time I have seen it in Alabama. If you have never had the privilege of seeing it live, do yourself a favor and at least check out the movie. Who knows? You might even like Liza Minelli for a brief moment afterwards.
My point to all of this, is that Liza Minelli has taught us many things in life. I am sure that these lessons are innumerable, but the most important would have to be the story she told of her friend Elsie, who "rented by the hour". When Elsie died, the neighbors attended her funeral just so that they could giggle and point out that Elsie had kicked the bucket due to her fondness of pills and liquor. But of course drunken disaster Liza was quick to point out that although Elsie was indeed dead, she was "the happiest corpse I've ever seen". Liza made up her mind that very day that when she went, she was going like Elsie. And that would start by her admitting that from cradle to tomb isn't that long of a stay. It also implied that life was a Cabaret, old chum. And Liza loves a Cabaret.

This week in advertising.

2007-06-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

So it has been crazy here with no signs of letting up. Finally finished all of the Toyota Prius stuff I had been working on. Oddly enough, it is all being produced in Atlanta right now. Also, the Blue Cross Blue Shield mailer that I did is being shot this week, so i am tightening up that comp. I did some (shitty) work on two other campaigns, but hopefully no one will know it was me. Yesterday was another 12 hour day and I am sure today will be the same. They just added me on another campaign, this one where I am the only AD, meaning that I am no longer an intern. I am now a "visiting AD"...The Jazz festival stuff is coming along. Haven't really nailed down a concept yet, but we are getting closer.

I am starting to consider Bama and this agency as more than just a fleeting thing...

Quest.

2007-06-11T06:38:00.000-07:00

Yup. I am a Quest member. For those of you that read this (mom and Bukes) and are confused, Quest is the 24 hour members only gay club in Birmingham. I went with my new friends Steven and Thomas and a bunch of their friends after an AIDS benefit on Friday night. Saturday was the gay pride parade followed by a party in 5 Points. I have probably met 750 people at this point. It was a great weekend. And who new Birmingham had so many gays?

Thanks, Thibs.

2007-06-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

Daddy Thibodeau sent this out yesterday...Couldn't wait to share it with everyone. (Everyone = my mom).

Dough.

2007-06-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

I just got my first paycheck.

Overtime = Awesome

Outside.

2007-06-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

The Botanical Gardens were delightful, as expected. I am already planning on going back...They gardens are huge and there are trails everywhere, so I missed a lot. Here are some of my favorite shots.

This evening I went to dinner at Rojo with my new friend Steven. He showed me 5 Points, which is Birminghams gay Carytownish Area. A-dorable.

Southern Culture.

2007-06-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

Had a great day yesterday. I spent the day at the Alabama Museum of Art, which contrary to popular belief, is not full of chickens. I followed up by spending the afternoon at the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute. Only one word to describe it: Unbelievable. These are my four favorite pics from the day…I am on my way to the Botanical Gardens.

Life right now...

2007-05-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

Isn't bad at all. I got my first victory from my Creative Director yesterday, meaning that the project I was working on has passed and I am moving on. I have three really great projects starting next week, this week I am finishing up on Blue Cross Blue Shield. Everyone is really great here and I am being treated like an actual art director.

Home life is good as well. I have not been attacked by Hogzilla yet. I have put together the rest of my concept book and have started on an awesome new website. This week I am going to start my "how to be a better art director" lessons (self taught). Next week I will start my "how to not eat an entire pint of ice cream" lessons, which I probably should have started this week.

All in all, life here is pretty great so far.

Stop the presses!

2007-05-27T15:15:00.000-07:00

Apparently, not too far from where I am staying this summer, a young gentleman shot this.

Here is a part of the article from the AP wire.

Boy bags hog said bigger than 'Hogzilla'

MONTGOMERY, Ala.- Hogzilla is being made into a horror movie. But the sequel may be even bigger: Meet Monster Pig. An 11-year-old boy used a pistol to kill a wild hog his father says weighed a staggering 1,051 pounds and measured 9 feet 4, from the tip of its snout to the base of its tail. Think hams as big as car tires.
If the claims are accurate, Jamison Stone's trophy boar would be bigger than Hogzilla, the famed wild hog that grew to seemingly mythical proportions after being killed in south Georgia in 2004.

The oil my Cadillac spills...

2007-05-24T20:55:00.000-07:00

So we flew to Detroit to pitch Cadillac and we actually won. Really still can't believe it.

Wow.

2007-05-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

Alabama. The devil fools with the best laid plans.

In all actuality, it has been great so far. The house I am staying in is beautiful, I have privacy and a floor to myself. I went for a jog around the neighborhood and it was delightful.

I am gonna spend the day exploring...

Here I goes.

2007-05-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

Ok. I am leaving.

I drank too much with the Europa gang last night and woke up late. Oops.

The house is clean. See?

I am leaving now.

Packing and Cleaning

2007-05-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

Ugh. This gay house is a mess. How did I let it get so bad? The recycling alone filled the entire car, including the back seat and floor. But it is getting done slowly. Here are some pictures of my progress...

Ugh.

Look at me, mom. I'm blogging!

2007-05-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not drunk. Well, a little from yesterday, but that's not why I am here. I am here to share an extremely important event. I am going to the dutty. The dutty dutty south.

I know what you are thinking. But it's actually kinda cool. I have had a lot of strange adventures in my life and this is sure to be one of them. If you would like to do some research on Intermark, the company that I will be working for, you can access them at http://www.intgroup.com

I have to go home and pack now. More on that later.